I’m just going to come right out of the gate and say it. Mustaches are hot, and I do not care if you think that’s a stupid opinion. Case in point: Harry Styles, who just debuted some glorious new whiskers during a visit to an Italian resort. Strangely enough, it was an olive oil and vinegar brand that revealed the new facial hair via Instagram on July 19. At the resort, the brand gifted Styles with what I’m sure is the best balsamic vinegar he’ll ever taste and posted a photo of him posing, fully ‘stached, with the bottle to thank him for the visit.
Naturally, Styles stans found the photo instantly, and let’s just say their opinions of the mustache were made very clear. “That 70’s porn stache has got to go,” reads one of the top comments on the post. Another person writes, “He looks like one of Ryan Murphy’s characters on American Horror Story.” And here’s the undoubted worst of them all: “And did Harry register as a sex offender after this?”
Not only does this happen any time Styles makes a drastic change to his appearance (see the great haircut debacle of 2019), but it happens every time a celebrity man grows a mustache these days. With the exception of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, modern men are almost guaranteed to be deemed creepy-looking or downright unattractive if they choose to let the hair on their upper lip thrive — and I am not fucking here for that.
Hear me out. Yes, I’m totally biased because I’ve always gone weak in the knees for broody macho types, but mustaches are downright powerful when they’re grown well and properly cared for. They’re not the best for some people if their hair doesn’t grow around the lip naturally, I’ll admit that — but Styles does not have that issue whatsoever. Like the best and most iconic mustaches (Tom Selleck, Sam Elliott, Burt Reynolds), Styles’s is full, plush, and seemingly well-trimmed. It does nothing but highlight his angelically angular jawline and chin. How could you not find that absolutely tickling?
But here’s the real kicker about mustaches: The men who grow and keep them are certified risk-takers. They know their facial hair isn’t going to be everyone’s vibe, but they like it anyway. It takes a mind-boggling amount of confidence to look in the mirror every day and say, “I like how I look, screw anyone who says otherwise.” And confidence is also very, very hot. Not only that, but mustaches require a ton of maintenance to stay shapely and comfortable. I don’t know about you, but I can think of few things more attractive than a man who thinks critically about his own appearance and sets aside time to take care of himself.
At the end of the day, no one should be shocked that Harry Styles is now the owner of a sweet, sweet flavor saver. This is the same guy that throws gendered fashion rules out the window every single day. He wears pearl necklaces, ruffled shirts, and silk bellbottom suits, for Christ’s sake. Fans should absolutely expect him to approach facial hair with the same level of curiosity and creativity. And that’s his business. If he decides he doesn’t like his ‘stache, he can always shave it off or grow a beard around it. It won’t be there forever. So even if you don’t love it as much as I do, you’ll be OK.
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